I suffered from a fear of man, fear of failure, fear of disappointment, fear of death, fear of the unknown…in other words, FEAR has been my worst enemy all throughout my life. When I was a little girl, it started off very innocent and just like most children, I was afraid of the dark. But as I started to be exposed to the reality of this world, the lingering innocent fear I had as a little girl grew to become this hideous gigantic monster. I continued to feed this monstrous enemy with more stuff, more junk, and more crap! I had uncontrollably created a gluttonous, ruthless, and unrecognizable beast. This beast was the very reason why I have been delayed in becoming an influential entrepreneur, delayed in finding my life partner, delayed in connecting and communicating with my family, delayed in pursuing the things my heart desired. BUT NO MORE!!! I AM TAKING BACK EVERYTHING THE ENEMY HAS STOLEN FROM ME!!!
A friend helped me to reflect on fear just the other day, and I came to realize that 2014 -2015 was my time to stand up and face fear right in the face and finally defend myself! I took a lot of blows to the face, literally and figuratively. From a slap to the face from a complete stranger, to being rejected by a love interest, I learned how to stand tall and to love myself even during the most trying moments of my life. 2016 is going to be my year to take the offensive approach against fear, to blast and demolish it into a million pieces before it can grow into something ugly!
That same friend asked me to share my tricks of killing fear, and so far the only trick that seems to work effectively is love, and I mean the crazy kind of love…the kind that challenges others to sacrificially and humbly love, the kind that encourages people to love without any expectations, the kind of love that is relentless and forever constant. I keep going back to the verses in 1 Corinthians 13, “4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” Those are some loaded words, because let’s be real…who in the world is able to love like that?!?!?!! I’ve read these verses with various perspectives and interpretations, but found it was still quite overwhelming for me. So my new approach, take bite-size pieces of them and relate it to the current circumstance or problem.
I’m going to share a story I thought I would never share, but I’m killing fear so here it goes. I recently went on a business trip to Arizona with my business partner, and we stayed with some friends in Globe, Arizona. The town and the home we were staying at depicted something that was a blast from the past, and given that Esther and I love vintage anything and thrift stores, we were in thrifting heaven. We chose to dedicate a full day to drive around town and thrift until we can lift no more. I got up bright and early needing to use the restroom, but soon realized that the vintage toilet was clogged when I went to the bathroom. I really, REALLY needed to use the restroom but everyone else was asleep, and I had no idea what in the world to do. I ran downstairs and knocked on my friend’s door to ask if I could use hers, but no answer. I was pacing back and forth trying to figure out what to do because there wasn’t a plunger or anything in sight. I had no choice, I had to just go, and so I did. I was hoping and praying that the toilet will miraculously unclog, and it will flush with no problem after I took care of business. Unfortunately, it didn’t…I had just added to the mess and made it worse!
I decided to patiently wait until my friends woke up to ask if I could use their plunger. Thankfully they had one and I tried everything I could to fix the problem. It wasn’t working. I was too embarrassed to allow or ask someone to help me deal with the situation. I figured, it was best to give it some time to settle before I gave it another attempt. So we went on our thrifting adventure around town in the pouring rain. Throughout the day, I kept hoping and praying the toilet was slowly flushing down the mess. When we finally returned early evening, I ran straight to the restroom to assess the situation. My prayers were answered! The water level did go down, but what a mess! I immediately flushed the toilet, but soon discovered the problem wasn’t fixed and now the vintage toilet was overflowing. I was mortified! Without thinking, I plunged away and let me tell you, it was not a pretty sight. I kept plunging and plunging and Hallelujah!!!!...it had finally worked! I unclogged the toilet by practicing patience and perseverance.
This incident taught me a lot about love…sometimes it’s messy, sometimes it doesn’t work, and sometimes it takes time, but in the end, if we’re willing to stick it out and sift through all the crap, it’s all worth it! I ended up disinfecting the entire bathroom for my friends. We both came up at the end. Love conquers all!
From my heart to yours #6:
Let’s form an army and attack fear from all directions and trap it never to return again! What are some ways you overcome fear in your life? Have you discovered any tricks that you found to be effective? For me, my weapon of choice will be to smother everything around me with love and use the handy dandy 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 as my love o-meter.
I'm using this space to simply share the meaningful things that burn my heart and the random things that run through my mind. Simply desiring more vulnerability and authenticity in my life.