When we look at the world we live in, it’s easy for us to simply perceive things to be just as our eyes see them to be. People who are “troublemakers” or “drama queens” will never change because they continue to create problems everywhere they are present. Places like Las Vegas are called “Sin City” for a reason so it only means you’re asking for trouble when you step foot into a place that promotes gluttony, lust, and addiction. Things like money are “the root of all evil” and we’re better off not desiring to be rich because we will only become more greedy and selfish when money is thrown our direction. Ideas like romance are considered “hopeless” because passion dies, and it eventually leads to broken hearts and unfulfilled dreams. So it’s better to play it safe or make compromises when it comes to finding our future mate. Although there might be some truth to each of these, I believe a shift in our perspectives and hearts will help us to not fear conformity but rather redefine the things of this world. It’s about finding the gold and value in the crummiest circumstances and celebrating even the smallest things set before us. After spending too many years being stuck and unknowingly going around and around in circles, I finally had reached a turning point and I had to make a clear choice…change or be left behind. Change and transformation needed to take place in my life. I needed to look deep within myself and be real with the person I had become over the years. Instead of pointing fingers at others, I needed to point the finger inward. I became the jaded person who often had one too many drinks when I partied with friends. I became the guarded person who ran the other direction when drama came my way. I became the selfish person that only wanted to spend money when it benefited me or horded my possessions because I didn’t want to share my wealth with others. I became the clingy hopeless romantic that found my identity in relationships so I didn’t know my self worth. In other words, I spent way too many years numbing my pain with other means, and I had mounds of unresolved problems and issues because I continued to brush them under the rug. In addition, I figured looking pretty and focusing on having a reputable career was enough to be marriage material because finding my "Prince Charming" was important to me, which has and continues to be my heart’s desire. I had lost sight of my true nature and the person God designed me to be. I needed to redefine Sarah Jung and rediscover all the hidden gold within me. As I chose to pursue a life of transformation, I soon discovered it was going to be a painful and arduous journey. I needed to let all parts of ME die in order to be restored and renewed the RIGHT WAY! So it meant I had to surrender and give up all things I loved and build a firm foundation with ZERO dependency on people or possessions. The only truth I held onto was the everlasting love of my Heavenly Father and being saved by His grace. I am so thankful for His abounding grace and understanding because I found myself making mistakes and falling on my face A LOT, throwing tantrums at God when things didn’t go my way, and sulking when things got tough. But there was a glimmer of hope breaking through as I continued to take steps forward and faced the GIANT in my life…unresolved pain and wounds. Today, I am learning to live a balanced life loving people, myself, and God with authenticity and vulnerability. I’m understanding that it’s not only important to know how to love generously but to receive with openness, and most importantly, have NO EXPECTATIONS in return. As I was redefining my identity, I started to view this world through a different lens. I started to understand the importance of being a light in a dark place because hidden beauty and treasures were waiting to be uncovered. I needed to be in the midst of all the action and not be fearful of conforming to the patterns of this world but redefine the struggles and challenges I encountered. I now found myself gravitating toward “troublemakers” because they carried unique authority and power but only needed a recalibration to achieve promising greatness. I wasn’t supposed to run the other direction when drama came my way. Instead, I was supposed to run into their arms and love on them without holding back and accept them just as they are. Then there are places like Vegas, which I spent many months avoiding, but now understanding that there’s more than meets the eye. When you look past the towering casinos and enticing food buffets, you can go on hiking adventures to Red Rock Canyon and fishing excursions at Lake Mead. However, I believe when one can exhibit self-control as they walk the Las Vegas strip and rise above all the sin and temptation surrounding the city, they are setting themselves apart from others. In 1 Timothy 6:10 it states, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” Money is not the cause of problems but rather the LOVE of money that drives people into dark places. Wealth is a God-given gift, whether it’s from family inheritance or hard-earned living. Therefore, it’s important to steward it with wisdom and a heart of gratitude. Money can be positively powerful if we are driven and motivated to use it with clear purpose and vision. Then there’s romance. I was having a conversation with a friend and I described myself to be a "hopeless romantic", and she immediately corrected me and shared I was actually a HOPEFUL romantic. Redefining romance helped me to wholeheartedly believe God will fulfill the desires of my heart in His perfect timing. I trust I will one day meet THE ONE God has reserved to be my BEST friend, running mate, and life partner. I await in hopeful anticipation to meet my God-chosen husband who shares similar vision, lives life fervently and humbly serves others, and loves and accepts me just as I am. The once jaded and selfish Korean American girl is now choosing to celebrate what’s right with the world. I am breaking free from fear, pride, judgment, expectations, and discouragement and replacing them with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. From my heart to yours #4:
If you’re willing to choose change because you’re desiring to experience breakthrough, allow yourself to look deep within and face all the things that have been hiding in the little crevices of your life. What are some practical and actionable methods you can exercise without feeling overwhelmed or defeated? I believe starting off with modest goals and working toward influential goals, while celebrating each accomplishment, will lead to favorable change and shifts in perspectives. Do you want to join me in discovering gold and celebrating all the goodness around us? Dear Simon, I was reminded today how quickly time flies by and not a second or moment should ever go wasted. Exactly a year ago today, God called you to go up and sit alongside Him in Heaven, and you are dearly missed by so many. Whenever I think of you, I am always challenged to live my life to the fullest because that was exactly what you did and you did it so well! When I looked up at the sky and clearly saw with my own two eyes what a beautiful day it was, I couldn’t understand why my spirit felt so burdened and heavy today. There was not a cloud in the sky and the sun was shining brightly and a cool breeze brushed up against my face, but I couldn’t shake off the weariness lingering in the air. I continued to pray throughout the day and asked the Father to reveal what this unexplainable feeling was. As I spoke with different people throughout the day, I started to gather some idea of what it could be. However, I was still left confused. Then later in the evening some of your friends and our family had a small get together to celebrate our memories of you, and we all laughed and cried together sharing all of our unique stories. When your memorial gathering ended, I started walking the streets of Pasadena still feeling the same heaviness. Then suddenly, a man named Bob, who was comfortably sitting on the sidewalk, gently interrupted me. “Have a good one” was all he said, and I just walked right past him. But something in me knew I needed to turn around and talk to him. After a little bit of “Should I… or shouldn’t I…” I decided to take a moment and hear his story. From a simple conversation, a short walk to the nearest restaurant, and a time of prayer, I learned that Bob loves the Lord SO MUCH! In the eyes of the world, he may not have any possessions to show his worth, but he clearly knew his self-worth because of his GREAT FAITH in God. He knew he was a beloved son of the Father up above and nothing can steal that away from him. Bob may not have riches here on this earth, but it was so clear he is going to be one of the richest men up in heaven!!! After the unexpected divine appointment, I was driving home and suddenly found myself weeping all the way home. All the heaviness I felt throughout the day was now streaming down my face, and the only thing running through my mind was… “Man, this is so hard! Life is so hard!” That’s when it dawned on me that I was feeling the burden of our Heavenly Father. He mourns for our souls day and night because He loves us so much and wants the best for each and every one of us. The BEST is right in front of us, and all we need to do is receive the eternal gift He has placed in our hands, but we often choose to replace it with instant gratification, fluff, pride, fear, loneliness; things that either cloud our mind of the REAL prize up in Heaven or darken our soul with lies told by the enemy. And for some of us who have received the eternal gift become so consumed with our day to day (work, school, family, friends, marriage, kids and so on) that we forget to simply love even our worst enemy, find joy even in the mist of our struggles, be patient with the person that cuts us off on the fwy, find peace even in chaos, be kind to a stranger on the street, and extend grace to those who offend us. Bob is a perfect example of someone who simply has faith and trust in the Lord even when worldly possessions were taken away. There was no blame or shame weighing him down. He was thankful the Lord provided for him each day. TIME IS PRECIOUS & LIFE IS SO SHORT! And looking back, I now know you knew that...really knew it! Because you lived it with so much joy and passion and with no regret. We will never know when our possessions will be taken away or when we will be called to join you and the Father in heaven. And today was such a great reminder to me that we cannot aimlessly live our lives. We need to live it with GREAT PURPOSE…with CLEAR VISION!!! Thank you for having been an amazing cousin when you walked this earth, and thank you for continuing to watch over me during my good days and especially my bad ones! You are so loved and you have left a colorful imprint on so many lives. Give God a high-five for me :). With Love, Sarah From my heart to yours #3:
It’s easy to get caught up with things and be distracted by the busyness of life, but lets remember to take a moment, actually take many moments, to reflect on our actions. Are we making compromises when we should be living life with integrity? Are we passing judgment on others when we should be loving them because we are just as messed up as they are? Are we pointing fingers at others when we should humbly serve and help one another? Are we being lazy when we should be fighting the good fight because let’s face it…we live in a tough world? I am definitely guilty of falling short more often than I would like, but because of God’s grace I am able to redirect my focus and renew my mind each and every day. As I stumble along the way and make some mistakes here and there, I’m choosing to live this short life with a PURPOSE to love without discrimination and with a MISSION to empower others to discover their true nature and beauty. What is your vision and are you willing to persevere even during the most trying times? As we were surrounded by Russian hills filled with blooming flowers and lush green trees, I was daydreaming of frolicking in the open vast field like a child who didn't have a care in the world. In reality, I was cramped in the backseat of a minivan. We were on our way to some remote town that was about an hour outside of Vladivostok, and my stomach was in knots trying NOT to think about the English camp we would be running the next 8 days. We were a team of 6 brothers and sisters from Charis Choong Hyun Mission Church that individually said "YES" to God's calling, but collectively our interactions were awkward and uncomfortable in the beginning because we knew very little about each other. I was certain God was calling me out to Russia this summer, so I didn't hesitate to commit to whatever came my way. However, the last thing I wanted to do was be the team leader, but somehow I ended up with that role. Although I reluctantly took on the position, I trusted the Lord would meet me and supernaturally make things come together. I knew I didn't have the time or energy to lead since I was already juggling a million other things. The preparation prior to our departure was quite a challenge due to schedule conflicts, language barriers, and shortage of funds. We felt unprepared as we set off to Russia, but we were thankful we managed to create a gospel centered English curriculum to use during our English camp. It was clear the people of Mikhaylovka Grace Church were eagerly awaiting our arrival, as we were welcomed with warm smiles and heartfelt greetings. For me, that meant the pressure was on! If I wasn't already feeling anxious, I was definitely feeling it now! The following morning, we could hear boisterous laughter and chattering of children fill the church building, and our team nervously gathered together to greet them. We immediately discovered that most of the students knew little to no English, and the English curriculum we developed was too challenging for them. Throughout the day, I would try one thing, but discovered it was too difficult for the students. So I attempted to try something else, but that would also go over their heads. Having been an experienced teacher of 11 years, I thought I knew how to think on my feet and make quick adjustments. However, I realized that when resources are not readily available, it poses new challenges. By the end of the day, we all felt defeated! We were left with no choice but to surrender our personal expectations and control up to our faithful Father so He can reveal His perfect plan. When it's done God's way, He can make the impossible possible by extending His supernatural strength, He can expand our creative minds by sharing His vision, and He can increase our capacity to love by showing us how much He loves us. It is our choice to receive the fullness of His goodness. Our team managed to use parts of the curriculum we developed with supplemental materials and appropriate modifications, and God challenged each of us to step up as leaders and share our unique talents. While one toughened the kids up with their Tae Kwon Do skills, another won the hearts of students through their amazing artistic abilities. We even helped revive a vision the church once had (to build a community center for the neighborhood children) by creating a mural that embodied their hopes and dreams of what the center could be in the near future. Even though we couldn't speak Russian and without our translators we were helpless souls, the students showered us with overwhelming love and appreciation for the little we had to offer. Everyday they were overflowing with joy. Everyday they were present and engaged. Everyday they thirsted for more knowledge and wisdom. The success of the English Camp was a manifestation of His faithfulness, and I am thankful God chose our team to be witnesses and stewards of His glorious work. It may have been a rough start in the beginning of our mission trip, but everything that came to fruition thereafter was by God's amazing grace. When God called me to go out to Russia, I simply decided to be obedient to his calling even though I didn’t know why I was going. Although teaching English to students that were hungry for truth and knowledge was a great reward, there was more God had in stored for me. Another great reward I was able to take away from this trip was learning the history of Koryo Saram (the name Soviet Koreans use to identify themselves). The first wave of Korean immigrants journeyed to Far East Russia during the 19th century Joseun Dynasty to escape famine and poor living conditions in Korea. In 1863, the migration started off with just 13 households, but by 1902, there were over 300,000 Koreans living in different parts of Russia. The Korean community was thriving and there were many prosperous Korean farms throughout the land. However, in the early 1900s, both Korea and Russia came in conflict with Japan; and by the end of the Russo-Japanese War in 1905, the Russian government confiscated land from Korean farmers and laid off Korean laborers. Despite the unfortunate circumstance, South and North Koreans continued to migrate to Far East Russia with hopes of living a life of freedom and better opportunity. Vladivostok became the central meeting grounds for Korean Independence Leaders to gather and organize strategies to oppose Japanese forces. Unfortunately in 1937, Josef Stalin deported over 180,000 Koreans living in Far East Russia to Central Asia (Kazakhstan and Uzbekistan), claiming Koreans were spies for Japan. Many lives were lost during the long train ride over to an unfamiliar territory, and the Koryo Saram were forced to stay in concentration camps for over a decade and a half. With this misfortune at hand, the deportees decided to turn it around and band together to build irrigation and grow rice farms. Because of their strong will to survive and succeed, the Koryo Saram were able to recover their prior standard of living. However, they were prohibited to speak Korean for decades so current generations have lost the language, and the Korean culture has evolved and changed over the years as they assimilated to Russian culture. Despite the years of persecution, the Koryo Saram have proven to be survivors even in the midst of hardship. By the grace of God, there are missionaries in Russia like Moon Kim (the missionary our church is sponsoring), who are contending to restore and rebuild the Korean culture and language, working hard to sustain a flourishing farming industry, and cultivating an education system that integrates the gospel. I am thankful God has opened my eyes and heart to a part of Korean history I was unaware of, and instilled a greater love and appreciation for generational struggles and history. This trip gave me a greater purpose to encourage others to embrace and love all parts of who they are, good or bad. We have a choice to grab a hold of our generational blessings or let them slip through our fingers. We have a choice to break free from our generational curses or complain about them and play the role of the victim. From my heart to yours #2:
It really doesn't need to take a trip to a far away land for God to shift our perspective or be used to expand His kingdom. It's about understanding and seeing that all aspects of our lives are mission fields. It could be within our family or community of friends; it could be at our workplace or even church; it could be here in Los Angeles or out in different parts of this world. Sometimes the work may last a lifetime, while others may be a short-term task. As long as we are always willing to say "YES", even when we want to run the other direction, God will open doors and pave the way; He will carry our unbearable load; and He will abundantly bless us far beyond our own expectations! So look around...What do you see? How can God use you in your mission fields? Are you willing to say "YES"? I gave my blog a rest until I figured out my direction, actually I was waiting on God's BEST direction. After several months of wrestling with the Lord and overcoming doubt, fear, and hopelessness, I finally figured out what I wanted to share with the world...the known and unknown mission fields God has in stored for me. I quickly learned that I will be falling on my face A LOT, encountering roadblocks A LOT, and taking detours A LOT, but I also learned that I will be okay (actually more than okay...I will be BLESSED) because my Daddy up above has my back and loves me even more in those moments. Sooooo...I thought I was set on going back to grad school, and I even spent weeks writing my personal statement and filling out my grad school application. I also had a deadline to turn in my halftime leave or possibly resignation for work because there was no way I can attend school full time and work full time. In my perfect world, I wanted to know that USC accepted me so that I could have peace of mind as I made my decision about leaving the field of teaching, but of course it's never that easy. As the deadline was nearing, I can feel the level of anxiety increasing day by day, and I didn't know what to do; I felt numb. A wise friend encouraged me to simply go with the decision that gave me the most peace and that's what I did. I didn't know if I got into grad school, I didn't know how I would financially support myself, I didn't know what in the world I was doing...I just simply made a decision in faith that my Father will lead, and I just had to keep moving forward one step at a time. As soon as I turned in all the necessary paperwork to USC and work, that burning desire to go to school vanished...I was left confused! What do I do now??? Unknowingly, I had used grad school as a safety net to pull out of teaching. If I made the wrong decision, at least there would be something productive I would be doing. I took it back to my Heavenly Father, and He assured me that I'm heading in the right direction and I didn't miss a single step. He revealed that grad school was not it, but I needed to go through the process for a greater purpose. It was then that I realized three things: I didn't need to rely on an institution to teach me what I already knew, writing my personal statement helped me to narrow my focus, and Holy Spirit will be my teacher as I venture into the unknown and uncover my entrepreneurial spirit. Last month I received my letter of acceptance to USC, but I kindly turned down the offer with overwhelming peace and comfort in knowing God is leading and I just simply need to follow. With only a part-time job and a desire to start a non-profit organization, I am learning that trusting and hoping in God's faithfulness is not an easy feat and I'm still a work in progress. However, I am beyond thankful that I have the privilege and honor to walk this earth consumed by His grace and mercy, and He will always come to my rescue. In FAITH I will go leaps and bounds to see God's plan unfold, in HOPE I will expect that God will fulfill His promise beyond my expectations, and with LOVE I will encounter people and strengthen relationships. From my heart to yours #1:
I'm sure some of you are wondering, "How does this girl know she's really hearing from God?". And to be honest, I ask myself that question more often than I would like, but I learned not to sit in the place of doubt and fear for too long. I choose to first listen then MOVE. Sometimes I'm dragging my feet and other times I'm sprinting ahead, but I'm moving, even if I can't see what's ahead of me. As I'm moving, I'm intentionally putting things to a test and prayerfully watching what happens. It sounds risky and maybe a little reckless to some, but it doesn't have to be and it isn't! If your heart and gaze is positioned toward the Heavenly Father, and you are giving it your best to be like Christ, then it's not a risk! God loves us, really really LOVES us and ONLY wants the best for us, but in order for us to receive everything He has to offer, then our hearts need to provide the space to receive all His goodness. If the room is small then God can only fit so much in that cramped space, but if it's an open space with no walls then God has no limitations to move and work in our lives. What He can reveal and manifest is ENDLESS! It's simply a matter of, how much space are you willing to give up? Today marks the day I submit my grad school application for Social Work and thought it would be fitting to have my personal statement be my very first blog post. It has been way too long since I've written an academic paper, but I decided to speak from the heart and hope for God's best! “Behind every great man is an even greater woman” and to ensure that stands true for generations to come, the need to empower women has been stirring and burning in my heart. We live in a world filled with broken perspectives and unjust stereotypes: woman, the apple of a man’s eye; woman, a creature who makes decisions based on emotions; woman, a burden because of financial and physical dependency. In turn, many of them find themselves trapped in sex trafficking, domestic violence, drug addiction, or simply unhealthy environments (in their workplace, home, or social settings). Through personal struggles and encounters, one-on-one and small group mentorship, and spiritual growth and maturity, I came to understand the importance of being an advocate for social change by extending compassion and rehabilitation to others.
I found myself working with more and more women at church, workplace, and mission/volunteer fields, and through those experiences, I came to realize that something was fanning the flame to my newfound passion and desire in life—raising up women of strength and dignity. People will most often find me chasing the next extreme endeavor like sky diving or rock climbing, spending quality time with people over a delicious meal, or striving to meet the needs of my neighboring community by helping them discover their hidden beauty and talent. In spring of 2014, a friend and I started a “Do It Yourself” group that not only focused on DIY projects, but also created a safe place for the ladies to be vulnerable about their personal struggles. While making jewelry, gardening, and restoring furniture, we were able to have increasingly open conversations, and I saw the healing process take place within the women of our group. Educating the youth has been abundantly rewarding the past 11 years, but helping women discover their inner beauty and self-worth was now taking precedence. In my classroom full of 5th graders, I would explain that social workers are like superheroes: They save lives from dangerous situations, they have supernatural powers to love beyond measure, and they may even have the ability to read minds because they give the best advice. Social workers have the capacity and perseverance to contend for change because they elevate service to others above self-interest. They are equipped to handle many tough situations with sensitivity due to their knowledge of cultural diversity and oppression. The respect for human relationships and awareness of professional mission, values, and ethical principles equip social workers to be consistent, competent, and compassionate. My tenacious yet empathetic spirit will serve me well as I journey through a new career path. I am confident I can boldly face new and unknown challenges drawing from my previous work experiences and other pertinent personal life experiences. Having worked with children that struggled with anxiety, loneliness, abandonment, and depression, I came to understand the importance of addressing the underlying cause—generational behavioral problems. The healing process needed to begin with the parents. My hopes are to help women break free from unhealthy emotional, mental, and physical strongholds so the burden will not be passed on to the next generation. The more I experience life, the more I appreciate and value education. I have gained a wealth of knowledge from both University of California, Irvine as an undergraduate student and Pepperdine University as a graduate student. At UCI, I was a young naïve college student, who had broken free from the chains of overly protective parents. I had attempted to balance school-work, social life, a part-time job, and church volunteering duties. The juggling of responsibilities led me to compromise my academic performance. After facing many ups and downs, I eventually learned how to effectively manage my time and reprioritize my life. Shortly after, I decided to apply for a Master's in Education. My passion for teaching first ignited in 7th grade when I had the opportunity to be a teacher’s assistant for a special education class. It was through this experience, that I discovered I was destined to make a difference in society, and I would do this by nurturing the minds of young children. It was during my graduate studies that I came to understand what it means to be a lifelong learner, and it is up to me, an individual, to strive and thirst for more wisdom, more experiences, and more discipline. Of course everything in life comes at a cost, and some people may think pursuing another Master’s degree means I will be adding another load of financial burden onto what already exists, but I have a different perspective. I understand that I am investing into my future mission field and obtaining a Master's in Social Work will equip me to build more awareness, strategies, and capacity to love people with authenticity and vigilance, regardless of age and gender. I know the process will be arduous at times, but I am more confident that every lecture, project, and assignment will be worth it because in the end, these tasks will provide the necessary tools for me to be an efficient agent for change in an ever-changing world. |
Author
I'm using this space to simply share the meaningful things that burn my heart and the random things that run through my mind. Simply desiring more vulnerability and authenticity in my life. Categories
All
Archives
March 2020
|