Current status: 38, single, muffin top, cellulite, and graying hair. These are things I see reflecting back at me each morning I stand in front of my mirror. Everything I see is very real and no matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to change my current status. “How did I get here?” “Why am I still single?” “There must be something wrong with me?” “I feel so lonely....” Thoughts, ideas and lies that come flooding into my mind when I see my reflection. Some days, when I stare into that same mirror, I see a reflection of beauty, life, redemption, and love. And then I wonder, “Whoever my future someone may be, they’re missing out!” The struggle is real ya’ll! My greatest desire has and will always be marrying God’s best for me. I would've never imagined that at the age of 38, I would be where I am today, but I am. If I had it my way, I would’ve been married at 25, raising 5 beautiful children, and impacting the world together. All good dreams but for some reason, it has not become a reality. So where do I go from here? How do I continue to hope in my dreams to one day marry the man of my dreams? One thing I’m learning to walk out is to keep my heart and hand open to receive the unexpected. I am quickly learning that God works outside of a box. I need to let go of my expectations and feelings of entitlement. I can’t expect that just because it worked out this way for one person, that God will do the same for me. I can’t expect God to check off all the things I have on my "Future Husband List". I can’t expect it to happen according to my timing. I am not entitled to have things handed to me on a silver platter. I am not entitled to have the perfect relationship because I tried my best to live a perfect life. I am not entitled to marriage because I waited so patiently. I honestly don’t have any advice for the single ladies because I’m still trying to figure it out. Or maybe, we’re just not supposed to figure it out and simply just be. Just be present and enjoy the people in front of us right now. Just be thankful for today and count our many blessings because there’s so much to be celebrated. Just be our imperfect self and learn to love ourselves just as we are. And someday in God’s perfect timing, our other half will come along and love us just as we are...muffin tops and all! From my heart to yours #16: Last week, a brother randomly felt led to share this poem he had written, and I was so encouraged and humbled by his words. I hope this will do the same for you. It gave me hope that there is someone out there that can see me through these lens and love me just as I am...NOT perfect. "You're Not Perfect"
by Kuya Paul You're not perfect I'm not sure if you know that I don't mean to say in any way that you should be that I want you to be that something in me was looking for perfection I wasn't Were you trying to be? You don't have to 'cause, you see I'm not either No one is Never have been Never will be that one perfect person that kind of human being Because human means we're flawed not at all made or created to be perfect to achieve that peak to be the elite I'm actually quite ordinary though with the ability for the extraordinary I'm tangled with the "fairly" The moderate The good The adequate not at all the perfect You're not perfect But, I wasn't looking for perfection I didn't want the best Let me rephrase that I don't compare you to this world's test Best body, luscious lips amber tone, curvaceous hips Nope, that's not on my list Perfection on a screen isn't best for me But I was considering a more artistic rendering with flaws that reflect cause passion that would make me pause appreciate interrogate get me more fascinated with the life behind the body the spirit that carries the character I don't buy the canvas for the frame but for the masterpiece of the painter You're not perfect You're not priceless Magnificent More than you know You hold value forevermore in every redeeming flaw Let me rephrase that better In every brush stroke of your Creator Not damaged designed Not flawed redefined Not perfect but, for certain a life made to shine You're not perfect and you see that's what makes you perfect for me |
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I'm using this space to simply share the meaningful things that burn my heart and the random things that run through my mind. Simply desiring more vulnerability and authenticity in my life. Categories
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March 2020
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